Friday, August 1, 2014
Turns out I can wear my headband scarf thing like floral Rambo.

Turns out I can wear my headband scarf thing like floral Rambo.

litlpup:

melkior:

send hELP

MY MOUTH IS FULL OF FLABMINGRAWRLGRHLBPPLBS

verysmalldeer:

nevecampbell:

I just wanna s*** some d***

HOW MANY DOGS ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL

apathy-golem:

look I referred to Groot on twitter as Vin Treesel and it got ignored so I need you to validate this joke for me tumblr

Thursday, July 31, 2014

magicmattie:

pippin4242:

smooshless:

OK, real talk? Does anyone else deny that they will ever have a romantic or meaningful relationship because in secret they desperately want it to happen but can’t see any way that it would and so feels like if they say it won’t happen a lot then it won’t hurt as much when it never does?

Nobody knows anything you don’t - at least, nothing mysterious. Sure, people in relationships know things you don’t, by dint of being in the relationship, but I don’t think many of us did anything suspicious to get to this point.

Yes, I used to tell myself that it wasn’t important to me, and I wasn’t worried, and that it would all happen in time. That’s an important thing to do, I think - because relationships can be a really big deal, and it’s hard to wait and see, and it hurts, wondering if you’re doing something wrong. That feeling is a really big deal.

All you can do is to stay relaxed. Love yourself. If you’re calm and happy, you’re much more likely to see openings and opportunities to meet new people - and the very next person you meet could be the one you marry, you know? Make sure you do go to places and keep having fun and interacting with new people. And if it’s important - if, deep in your heart of hearts, you know that you would rather be in a relationship than not - try online dating. It’s not foolproof, but at least you have time and perspective for every interaction, and at least you know that everybody there is definitely interested in being in a relationship.

Deep breaths. You’re not doing anything weird.

No worries.

Pips says wise things. Can I butt in? There’s something dangerous here which I really want to poke at: “they desperately want it to happen but can’t see any way that it would” 

(Of course I don’t know you so I’m only going off of what you wrote, and could be misinterpreting.)

Desperation is a bad advisor. Please remember that no matter what happens. Never ever ever ever get into a relationship because you’re desperate to have one.

"Can’t see any way that it would". This can mean a number of things.

1. That you don’t think you’ll ever find anyone compatible because your standards are particular. But the desperation could cause you to try and give up some of those standards. Sometimes that’s good. Sometimes that’s very bad. Don’t let desperation tell you which standards to lower, you have them for a reason.

2. That you don’t think anyone would want you because of who you are. This could be low self-esteem (and I don’t think I need to go into all the reasons why that’s always untrue and a very bad thing to believe about yourself) or it could be a fairly reasonable analysis of what most people go for (if I was more conventional, I’d attract more people because most people hae conventional tastes. Logical, but not a solution) In the latter case, again, don’t let desperation for acceptance make you change who you are. You need to be happy with yourself, period.

3. That you think the chances of finding love are very limited. This one’s hard, because it depends on one’s understanding of what a relationship is, but in the end the danger is the same- desperation could cause you to ignore serious flaws because of a belief that you need to hold on to what you’ve got, and that you’ll never get another chance. 

In other words, DON’T LISTEN TO DESPERATION, no matter what happens. And be careful that if you do decide a relationship is unlikely, it’s not because you think you suck. If you think you suck, you gotta work on finding out how much you really don’t, because otherwise it’s just another way of fantasising about some amazing lover who comes along and makes you believe in yourself- no, why leave that to them? Why work yourself up to be vulnerable and dependent from the get go? They don’t get to validate you. You have value of your own.

(again, I don’t know you, so this could have nothing to do with you. But it’s something that does happen a lot.)

Personally I don’t want a relationship, but I think its not good to make yourself believe you will never have one if you actually want one. Because then when something does come along, you’ll have Denial talking to you on one shoulder, and Desperation screaming on the other, while your Heart and Mind won’t be able to get two words in, and they’re kinda the important ones.

The only good reason to believe you’ll never have a relationship is because you don’t want one.

Okay, this is some very good advice and though it doesn’t personally apply to me I do feel like there will be some people who follow me that may want to read it. (Not that I’m really thinking of anyone in particular but there are about 500 people following me and I’ll bet that the likelihood that someone in there would need this advice is pretty high)

(I also bolded that last bit because I think its important)

My problem is that I have been through years of developing myself and my own self-esteem until I’ve become someone that I can safely say that I like (mostly). The thing is that now I’ve come to appreciate myself I’ve started to want someone else to appreciate me as much as I do - just in a different way to my friends. What doesn’t help is that I made myself a promise that I wouldn’t date anyone until I did like myself and so throughout my teens when a lot of my friends were getting that practice with whoever they wanted to attract I didn’t because I was busy with myself (not that anyone came forward and actually wanted me to go out with them, that may have changed my mind). I feel like that made me somehow deficient? I think. It’s not something that I would ever think of anyone else, so it’s obviously just some ridiculous standard for myself that I have in my head but didn’t realise was there.

You are right that a person should never allow desperation to push your decisions with something like this and I wouldn’t for many of the reasons you’ve stated and also because I wouldn’t be able to make a snap decision on something like this. I’d need quite a while with someone patient to help me get over my massive insecurities to do with relationships and the lack of practice I’ve had (This past year someone kissed me and I allowed myself to get so wrapped up in myself and my blind panic at not being able to know what to do that I froze up and didn’t know what to do and kinda ruined things). I can’t really see me getting over myself to allow someone to get close to me, but to say that my chances to try are few and far between is pretty correct.

(And I do know that people don’t know something I don’t Pips, I am just being childish)

Please bear in mind that its like midnight here. I’m not making pathetic, whiny text posts mid morning.

OK, real talk? Does anyone else deny that they will ever have a romantic or meaningful relationship because in secret they desperately want it to happen but can’t see any way that it would and so feels like if they say it won’t happen a lot then it won’t hurt as much when it never does?

hollifo:

I think we might be reverse werewolves

(added in a little conversion at the bottom for all my Fahrenheity friends!)